Quote

Some men see things as they are and say, ‘Why?’ I dream of things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’
George Bernard Shaw

2009. The Year of Many Changes

As we put the holidays behind us and dig ourselves out from underneath all of the holiday huppala, many of us engage in a ritual that any visiting alien might be puzzled by — New Year’s resolutions. Why do humans pick a single point in time each year to try and change certain things in their life, mostly behaviours and attitudes to help improve their lives, careers and relationships and make resolutions about them, and then proceed to fail at them within a three week period? Which brings us to right about now?

So, from a psychological perspective, it might be interesting to ask what exactly determines how many goals people set and how successful they are.

Research consistently finds that people who believe that self-control is something dynamic, changing and unlimited tend to set more resolutions. They believe it is possible if only they can put their minds to the task.

On the other hand people who believe that we all are born with a limited, set amount of self-control that one cannot change and who also have little belief in their own capabilities to carry out their own goals naturally do worse on obtaining their New Year’s resolution goals.

Basically, individuals with high self-esteem attribute failure to insufficient effort, while individuals with low self-esteem attribute failure to their own inability to cope. Higher self-esteem is generally correlated with a greater likelihood of achieving one’s goals.

What all of this means is that you’ll do better on your New Year’s goals if you believe that self-control is indeed an unlimited resource that we all have access to and can leverage with our resolutions. The more you believe in your own capabilities — high self-esteem — the more likely you will succeed as well. It also seems to help to set more goals, because you will be more likely to succeed at them if you do. While people with low self-esteem set fewer goals and always seem to go into the exercise with the self-fulfilling expectation of failing.

Over and above the self-confidence and high self-esteem you’re going to have to build the actual skills to make the changes you’re proposing for your life. For instance, it’s all fine and well to say you want to quit smoking. But do you really have any idea on how to do so? Researching the most effective methods for quitting ahead of time predicts better success in actually achieving your goal and of course, being ready to change mentally also helps. If you don’t want to change and so only make a half-hearted resolution to do so, don’t be surprised by your amazing lack of success.

So are you ready to give up on this year’s resolutions once again or are you going to give them another try? If you are ready to take them for another spin and want to have more success, do make sure you follow the following tips.

• Understand that you do not need to wait until the New Year to set some goals and/or aspirations for yourself. Turn everyday into an opportunity to change, grow, learn and evolve.
• Make a strong initial commitment to make a change.
• Have coping strategies to deal with problems that will come up.
• Keep track of your progress. The more monitoring you do and feedback you get, the better you will do.

Should you want more tips and ideas on how to be successful in coping with your challenges in life simply write to me on info@inspireyourmind.com and I will guide you on how to welcome change in your life.

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“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”
Alexander Graham Bell

You Think Therefore You Change

Every time we think, we change. We change the electrical impulses in our brain and we change the probability of what our next thought will be. So every thought we have, every dream we have, every fear we have, every emotional reaction we have changes the probability of what our next thoughts, emotions and reactions will be.

In other words we live in the playground of change for our entire lives, and the moment to moment choice that we have is whether we are going to enjoy the ride or whether we are going to get overwhelmed. It really is that simple. Problem is that the majority of people still believe that they have little to no control over the impact these changes have on us and especially our attitude towards them. What we don’t understand is that by learning to embrace change and flow with it we can have a direct influence all the things that are going to determine our future and also the future of the people around us.

In a sense we all have to learn to become surfers and learn to ride the giant waves of changes that are upon us. The next few years we will all be facing some massive changes to the way we think, behave and live. Being prepared therefore to learn to perceive the changes, and then finding ways to flow with them and compliment them will, in my opinion, become the most critical skills we can ever learn during this particular time. (Continued below)

Embracing Change

As a surfer you learn to monitor the changes in the power and the rhythms of the waves. Years of experience and determination and learning on smaller waves increase experience and the hunger to ride a giant wave.

First you need the motivation to learn to surf – to battle out to sea, pushing against the power and weight of the waves against your body. The sea spray entering your mouth and your nostrils adds to the tension and the anticipation as you watch and FEEL the changing rhythm of the ocean – waiting for the rush of energy before the wave that determines whether or not it is time for you to take it.

If you get the timing right, as a giant wave approaches you will ensure that the oncoming power-source of energy – which could grow to become 20 meters high and dwarf you. Your aim will be to ride the power of the wave and become a part of it. If you get it right, it will glide you along, and you will travel for miles, literally riding the energy of that wave to your total enjoyment, advantage and ecstasy.

If however you get the timing wrong, if you end up on top of the wave, or just beneath its crest, instead of riding the positive energy of the wave you will experience its negative power. The wave will break. The wave will break on you – and below you there will be space, sand or rocks. All the energy of that wave, that same wave, carrying you, on the surfboard, instead of transporting you to new heights, will smash you into the ground. You will have nowhere to go other then down. You will be bruised and grazed – and your ego severely dented.

The only difference between these two outcomes is that one of you went with the energy of the oncoming wave, literally with the flow of the wave and became a part of it. The other one didn’t. The difference in the outcome is absolute.

(Continued) Our relationship with life-changes is similar. Everything has its moment. If we miss that moment, then we may wander aimlessly for a while, or even risk being thrown aside by life. Just as the wave keeps grows and builds it’s strength and power for hundreds of miles, so, too, you build and progress through knowledge. If you learn how to ride these waves of change, learn how to use your self-belief and energy to go consciously with the flow of change, then you will be advantaged. If you don’t, change has the capacity to be highly destructive, and the adjustment can be a much longer and harder learning curve.

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“What we resist persists.”
The Dalai Lama